The Practice of Non-Practice

'It is important to do what you don't know how to do. It is important to see your skills as keeping ...you from learning what is deepest and most mysterious. If you know how to focus, unfocus. If your tendency is to make sense out of chaos, start chaos.' - Carlos Casteneda

I have been thinking recently about my brain being worn out - particularly my left hemisphere. I worked it so hard, for so long, that I think it's just taking a really long break to recover! Thus, my right hemisphere was soundly neglected during, well, the entire first half of my life. I fondly remember revelling in academic study, wanting to be a student forever, looking forward to opening and running my own business, and simply enjoying "smartness." I honestly think I wore out my brain. I have long thought there was a struggle between the two hemispheres, but since the Left was slightly stronger it always won: suppressing full engagement with artistic pursuits and paths, leaning towards practical goals. Now my Right brain is cheerfully taking over, liberating me from structure and goal-oriented concerns - I'm finding myself in a very interesting place! 

I'm newly appreciating having such a diversity of pursuits and interests in my life. I am working on several part-time jobs/income sources, devoting myself to very regular yoga practice and a vegan diet, and moving closer to creating my own artwork. These things all hold much more equal weight than in the past. I am looking forward to rebuilding my life around these elements, and to eliminating the multiple personalities required by success in the art gallery business. Not even multiple - I have felt for 10+ years that I had to forego my true personal inclinations and become whatever was expected of me by my clients and artists. Above and beyond a professional persona, I felt I was required to be quite a different person, and live my life a different way, than I was naturally inclined to. Distressing. 


As I move forward in life, I am trying to rebuild myself as Myself, eliminate all that is not Me: people, objects, pursuits.... and am truly enjoying this freedom. I hope that I am building a foundation that will not waver when other people and jobs enter my life, but instead will add them to the pyramid that I am building as supportive elements, complimentary pieces. I suppose it takes 40 years to come to this point, and I'm grateful to live in an era when I have the luxury of time and resources to so decadently figure out my path. 


The Casteneda quote was on facebook. I related to the idea of knowledge, practice, pursuits getting in the way of living. Two days after reading it, my yoga teacher talked about to practice yoga is to not practice, it is more about being and doing, day by day. Again, the universe sending me ideas repeatedly until I start to let them seep into my head.

The universe has also sent me some other interesting things this week. It has been a time of "be careful what you wish for," which I think is a wonderful, classic lesson we have to learn again and again. I have begun planning to move from Arizona, now that many of my ties have been released (business, relationship). It really is quite daunting to have the option to move wherever in the country I want to, and though I'm pretty well settled on my destination I have been in no hurry to bounce myself out of here; a casual two years of thinking, preparing, researching seemed quite pleasantly reasonable! Then,  I asked for some direction as to my path, some clarity, and was quickly presented with a situation that may compell me to move in as little as six months. Six months!!!! I think the universe just gave me a big kick in the pants!!! And honestly, I can't deny that I need it. OK. 6 months. Here we go! I love a deadline without a safety net!!!!!

Hear Music series

One of my very favorite places of discovery was Hear Music in Berkeley, CA. I hear that it's gone now, which makes me sad as I discovered some most amazing music there. I also heard that Starbucks bought it some time ago, so follow the breadcrumbs..... Artist Kay Khan just posted this video by Beirut, the band formed by a young man from New Mexico whose music I've described as Balkan Funeral Music. I love LOVE the forlorn, gypsy qualities of Beirut and decided to share this video with you.



Another few weeks of 3-4 yoga classes per week have been wonderful. I so appreciate this new flexibility in my schedule (pun intended?) that allows me to focus on yoga, and other things that are important to me. I have been thinking to rename my blog something like "Returning to Wendyness" as this is what this time in my life feels like. As I think about moving onward from this point, I am trying to evaluate what pieces I must take with me. Yoga, health, art (mine and others), openness, freedom of time and place and destination and home location. Nomadicism (is that a word? I like it!). Paring down seems to lead to happiness, weightlessness, which is why the idea of a nomadic life seems so appealing to me right now. Taking only what I need, what will fit, and knowing that everything left behind was unnecessary and was holding me down with its weight of ownership. Although I'm pretty sure the animals and I would get pretty fed up with each other pretty quickly!

Enjoy.

Desert photos

Started a new session of T'ai Chi at the DBG today - a new teacher with a totally different style. Am basically starting anew but enjoying it. More martial arts/yoga influences, it feels like. Pleasantly surprised! And had a nice walk through the desert garden today, we're still enjoying a reprieve from the 90's. Took a while to find a setting that inspired some photos, but was captivated by the barrel cacti and the close perspective of their spines.

I seem to keep encountering repetition of ideas in my world - repeated words, concepts, sayings, that must be nudging me to get my attention. Am enjoying this phenomenon and will try to keep note of it. Must be important...... Today it was a restaurant called Buffalo Chip, so obviously the universe has a random sense of humor!

New World Photographs

I've been rediscovering photography, starting with my little digital camera and my trips to the DBG. Some things inspire me towards basketry; all the cactus forms, the colors, the natural fibers. Other things have inspired me to take a new look at perspective. Close-up shots and low-to-the-ground angles have become very interesting to me, creating a new way to look at a scene and changing the viewer's relationship to the scene. I call this the New World series, as to me it's presenting the world on a whole different scale. And then, some of the photos are just pretty. Some of the cactus flowers are so beautiful close up, and we don't really see them as we're passing quickly by. Like the Ocotillo, the tall green spikes shooting up to the sky, with red tails at the end of each stalk. They actually are a beautiful, delicate cluster of red and yellow flowers. I'd never seen them up close before.

Amazing textures in the garden....

 

And somehow I've developed this series of bees.....

Yoga, heirloom tomatoes, and Buckeye goats

Made it to another yoga class today - am pretty content with all the stretching I've been doing as opposed to jumping in and trying to do crazy poses. Very good way to start the day. 2 for 2 in my goal of 5 classes in one week. Gee, what a sparkling accomplishment! Hit the farmer's market just before it closed, got the last 2 heirloom tomatoes - they're expensive but they actually taste like tomatoes are supposed to taste! Actually, I think I got 2.5 tomatoes, as one has a smaller siamese twin attached. Aren't they cute? Wrigley came along, and while he was snuffling crackers off the floor of someone's booth, I discovered someone selling goat cheese made from their herd of 33 goats in Buckeye, AZ. Sweet! Although I'm working towards being vegan, I'm also interested in finding healthy animal products from animals that are treated, well, like family. Eggs from chickens in someone's back yard, cheese from goats living on a small, attentive farm... there's also a buffalo farm in Buckeye that I'm dying to check out.

Came home to find an interesting PBS show, Global Voices, on the Cuban revolution through the eyes of photographers. The universe is definitely sending me specific things right now. This morning before yoga, there was a segment on CBS Sunday Morning about a holy event at a specific part of the Ganges river, which happens only every 12 years, and that 50 million people attend over the course of three months. Intriguing and unexpected. And just a few days ago, Mom talks about how I need to go to Kauai (well, yeah) and visit the Hindu temple. There have just been a few signposts along the path reminding me of thoughts and things that are important to me, that maybe I've forgotten. I'm certainly not pursuing organized religion, but it's hard to deny the meaningful thoughts communicated through Buddhism and similar religions/spiritual paths.















Georgia O'Keefe

Hot Yoga

Had a wonderful heated yoga session this morning at Inner Vision Yoga. I think I sweated more than anyone else in the class, but I love that feeling! Like being in a steam room and knowing that everything pouring out of your pores is all positive cleansing. Did better than my first heated yoga last week; didn't have to sit down or get a second bottle of water half-way through. Have a long way to go to return to my previous yogic abilities, but for once in my life don't mind being the slowest in the class, standing next to the girl that can put her leg behind her ear. I'm currently in a two-week new student period, meaning lots of classes for one low price, so I'm going to try to go to as many as I can - 5 a week? Wouldn't it be wonderful to go to yoga every single day?

Eventually I'll be strong enough to ride my bike there and back, but today I had to hang around in the main room, shopping, until it felt safe enough to get behind the wheel of my car! Lots of tempting things: yoga clothes, wonderfully scented things (coveting the patchouli-lime hand lotion). Ended up buying a peach/mango coconut milk drink and a hand-made granola square, which were both fantastic and had me revived by the time I got home. Then a black bean and egg quesadilla - have been missing eggs and found a number of postings on craigslist.com for chicken eggs, extras from families that sound like they raise chickens for the joy of it. Got these particular eggs at the farmer's market, but I think I'll make the effort to find a home to buy from.

In Napa, potter Karen Winograde raises chickens, and I usually get treated to her eggs when I visit JP. So far, hers are the best, brightest, tastiest, orangiest yet. One batch we had all double yolks! Would love to raise chickens - buy maybe not in the city. Don't know yet. It's one thing to have someone babysit your cats and dog when you travel, but clean the chicken coop? I don't know about that one!

Tempeh Enchiladas - from The Kind Life

Just found this recipe from The Kind Life website, www.thekindlife.com, which was taken from Sammi Mclean’s blog, Vegan Pandamonium. Looks good, going to try it! I had just found a great method of making chicken enchiladas when I started going vegan.... never got to make them again! This recipe uses the same trick, the diced tomatoes with green chiles!

Tempeh Enchiladas

INGREDIENTS
1 package of tempeh

1 can diced tomatoes with green chiles, drained

1 packet taco seasoning
1/2 onion, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 can of beans of your choice (Sammi used vegetarian refried beans)
Flour tortillas

Nutritional yeast to garnish (optional)

1 jar of your favorite tomato sauce



STEPS
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F.
In a large sauté pan, sauté the onion and garlic with a little olive oil until fragrant and translucent.

Add the can of tomatoes and crumble in the tempeh.

Mix in the taco seasoning and let it all incorporate for about 5-10 minutes.

In a separate sauce pan, let your beans heat up.

Once the beans are hot and the tempeh mixture is settled, start assembling your tortillas.

Spread out the beans first on the tortilla, and then add the tempeh mixture on top.

Roll it up, and place in a casserole dish.

Repeat (Sammi made 5 enchiladas in one casserole dish).
Pour the tomato sauce over the enchiladas (you don’t need the whole jar, just enough to cover them evenly)
.
Put the dish in the oven for about 15-20 minutes.



You can also try adding some vegan cheese and/or sour cream on top.